On the imaginary axis of the amount of work, obligations, hobbies, and interests, there is only a single point about which you should know. You should know it because it is not wise to miss it. Irrespective of which time-management method you use, how much you are motivated, and how well you can optimize your time and fill the gaps in your plan, there is a physical limit to what you can achieve in a human lifetime. Crossing this line means taking on more things in your life than what you can carry. Beyond this limit, there is burnout, stress, or total resignation. This is a land where no one wants to live. Despite this, in everyone’s life, there comes a moment when we cross this line, although the consequences might not immediately manifest themselves. And it is possible that this has happened to you already. The good news is that there is one thing that can keep you above this limit and won’t let you fall through it. It is one word. The word is “no”.

At first sight, it might look simple, but telling “no” to things that you encounter in your life can be truly very difficult, and it requires determination and training. We people are strange. Someone has the biggest problem saying “no” to other people, someone else to themselves, and to their own ideas. Sometimes, it is difficult to say “no” to your habits; other times, to a thing to which you are bombarded by advertising (especially if you consider that today, the area of marketing happily draws knowledge from the area of psychology). But you can one hundred percent count on one thing in this world: no one will say the word for you. Do not expect that there will be a moment when your life will magically calm and stabilize itself like a miracle. This will not happen. Today, the world is built on development, consumerism, and an influx of information. The deluge of obligations and possibilities is deafening. And this won’t change soon.

Saying no means prioritizing. If you aren’t able to do one thing because you are dealing with others, it means that the other things are more important than this one thing. Or were they? Perhaps you just didn’t tell them “no” because they were closer to you at the moment, or they were more tempting, or there was greater pressure on you. Not letting yourself be carried away by your momentary mood, an advertisement that jumps at you, or an email that suddenly landed in your inbox and continuing with the important work is prioritization. It is saying “no” to things that are not important or good for you.

The Marshmallow Test book also talks about how beneficial the ability to say “no” is. It describes an experiment when a child was left alone with candy in a room, and if it didn’t eat it for a certain time, it would get another one. Several years later, they researched how well the children were in this experiment. The children who were able to endure (say “no” to immediately eating it) had, in general, better school results and were more successful in life.

I’m not about to provide you with a guide on how to say “no.” I do not dare it because there are no simple, universal solutions to it. Rather, take it as a reminder that there is an option like this. Believe it or not, the world will not collapse. If you start using the opposite, you will begin to feel better because you’ll get control. It’s like with a ship at sea.

Imagine a ship at a rough sea, where there is no one at the helm, no one steers it. Who decides where the ship should sail? The waves and the wind. And who decides about your life if you are not ready to say “no?” Let’s put it straight. Circumstances. The noisiest, the most interesting, or just those that will give you some form of reward as soon as possible. Do not let your life be guided by circumstances. Learn to refuse things about which you know that you are not able to do them or you do not want to do them. As I mentioned earlier, do not expect this to happen on its own. No one and nothing steers this world for this to happen on its own.

It is said that between the action of your surroundings and your reaction, there is a world inhabited by your character. This world can be very small, which means you only react to what happens around you. If something happens to you that could make you angry, then you will get angry. If something tempting happens to you, you succumb to it. And so on and so forth. But the world can be big and rich and offer you many ways of reacting to what happens around you. The word “no” should also be part of this world. A word that will help you keep control over your life, its content, and your time. A word that will not allow you to fall beyond the limit of what is possible in your life.